Congratulations, Woman!

Thaís Antonio and Pollyane Marques
Radio Journalism Reporters from Agência Brasil

Brasilia - After the sexual revolution of the 1960s, it became easier for women to make choices different from what was traditionally expected: to get married and have children. Half a century later, it is impossible to enumerate all the possibilities for a woman.

Prioritizing career, taking care of the home and children, balancing both, marrying another woman, not getting married, following traditional protocol, or even making no plans at all? The choices are many. As are the women. And many dreams, desires, and longings. Different choices show that there is no formula for being a woman. Nor for being happy. Being a woman is fighting for your rights and desires to be respected. Whatever they may be.

Psychologist Elizângela Roque, at 40 years old, divides her time between her patients and her eight children. When she first got married, she planned to have six children. In 2011, already with five, they met a classmate of their youngest son. The child was from a shelter, and they decided to adopt him. When they started the adoption process, they discovered he had a brother.

“We adopted both of them and they’ve been with us for a year and a half. I got pregnant during the adoption process,” she says. Today, with eight children, her routine requires a lot of organization: there’s a time to watch TV, to do homework, and for extracurricular activities. “It’s a life choice. I’m a professional, I’m a psychologist by training and I work in the public service. It’s a big challenge, it’s not simple at all, but it’s also a great joy.”

Expanding the family is part of journalist Marina Marcondes' plans. She and her partner already have a daughter each from previous relationships. Their dream now is to raise a boy together. "I don't think the fact that I'm a lesbian means I can't have a child. We haven't decided anything yet, because having another child involves expenses and a series of financial and structural issues," she reflects.

For now, the two are organizing themselves so they can give their two daughters a sibling. "The desire is very strong, the dream is very big, and the love to bring another life into the world is even greater. If we can't conceive, we're thinking about adopting. What we really want is to give love to a child," she summarizes.

A teacher by training and a homemaker since marriage, Luciana Chagas gave up her career to dedicate herself to motherhood. “I feel completely fulfilled. Every woman who is a mother, that I talk to, says that the best thing there is is having children, because they bring an unparalleled feeling and we feel very loved,” she says.

Being a teacher was a childhood dream. "I gave it up very consciously and very happily," she emphasizes. For Luciana, it was worth being constantly by her first daughter's side, who is now one year old. "It's a new experience to see a child developing, you learn all the time. And it's an opportunity to give of yourself."

Motherhood and marriage are not part of the plans for Verônica Lima, who is also a teacher. For her, fulfillment lies in other choices. “When I think about fulfillment, I think about traveling more, learning more, meeting more people, speaking another language. I don't think that bringing a child into the world will make me more or less fulfilled than I am today. Maybe for some people it will, but for me that's not synonymous with fulfillment.”

Like Veronica, Juliana Pinto, an administrative assistant at an international company, has no plans to get married or have children. It's not a closed issue, but it's not part of her dreams. "I don't think about getting married or having children because of a concern, perhaps, with this social norm that we are raised for that, that this is everyone's dream."

She says she's started rethinking human relationships in general. "And what I'm looking for is emotional independence on my own. Then I think I can have a relationship, or not. It could even be a monogamous, polygamous, or three-way relationship. Or even just being alone, having a house full of cats." According to her, there are so many options for the future that if you're comfortable with yourself, any of them will be pleasant.