An infiltrator in the crowd of patriots.

Fidel Carlos was a born communist. His given name was already a tribute that his father, Ivo, a highly respected criminal lawyer in the Baixada Fluminense region, had paid to the great Cuban political leader. A native of Rio de Janeiro, born in the city's suburbs and possessing the peculiar mischievousness and sharp humor that characterizes the personality of his countrymen, Fidel decided to disguise himself as a Bolsonaro supporter for a day and closely follow the demonstrations against Lula's victory and in favor of military intervention. Wearing a Brazilian national team shirt, sunglasses, and a Brazilian flag in his hands, there he went, taking advantage of his good looks as a patriot—a mix of illegal gambling banker and army sergeant—in search of adventures in that parallel world that, until then, he had only seen on TV.

Upon arriving at the demonstration, which was taking place in front of the headquarters of the Eastern Military Command, right next to Central do Brasil train station, he heard a loud and strange celebration. Curious to know what it was about, he approached a man dressed as Napoleon Bonaparte, wrapped in an Israeli flag, and asked him:

What is the reason for the celebration, my dear patriot?

The armed forces have just ordered the arrest of the Supreme Court justice, the "egghead," for rigging the elections and favoring the communist from the Workers' Party. Jungle! 

Perplexed by what he had just heard and suppressing a laugh so as not to have his identity revealed, Fidel simply replied:

Great day! Jungle!

"Now we just have to wait for the US court-martial to determine his extradition as a prisoner of war," finished the man, punctuating every sentence with a frantic: "Jungle!"

Fidel wanted to know more details about the operation and the transfer of the hated minister:

Will he be tried in the USA?

Yes. President Donald Trump also wants his egghead on a platter. Jungle!

Fidel considered warning the man that the current president of the USA was Joe Biden, but realized it would be pointless and preferred to continue feeding the fantasy of that idiot, I mean, patriot:

- How wonderful! With Trump involved, he won't escape. Let's shoot all those communists from Ursal and the São João Forum.

It was corrected by the subject:

It's the Forum of Saint Peter, my friend! 

But he maintained his composure appropriate for the moment:

Saint John, Saint Peter, Saint Anthony, it doesn't matter. They were all communists and organized gangs disguised as June festivals with money from the Rouanet Law.  

He won over the guy, who immediately wanted to know his name:

What is your name, noble patriot?

- Olavo Carlos. A tribute from my father to the great professor Olavo de Carvalho.

The man went into a frenzy and saluted him.

- Nice to meet you, Olavo! I'm Estefânio. It's an honor to have a patriot with your name by my side in this battle against the forces of evil led by Che Guevara and Mao Tse Tung.

Fidel returned the salute and added:

Military intervention, now!

While the exchange of pleasantries continued, another explosion of joy swept through the patriotic crowd present at the location.

"What is it now?" Fidel asked.

A woman wearing a shirt that read “God made Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Ivo” and holding a flag of the Brazilian Integralist movement, quickly responded:

It seems they arrested the leftist professor Paulo Freire. The one who was teaching gender ideology in schools.

Estefânio could no longer contain his happiness at the news when confirmation of the educator's arrest came through the protesters' sound truck:

- Attention, everyone! In compliance with an arrest warrant issued by Mr. Herculano Quintanilha dos Santos Silva, a Brazilian lawyer, divorced, residing on Jurerê beach in Santa Catarina, the communist educator Paulo Freire has just been arrested in flagrante delicto for inciting pedophilia and for having adopted the teaching of gender ideology in schools.

The crowd went wild. It was like the World Cup final. Shouts of "Thank you, my God" and "Long live Ustra" erupted through the air like the sound of the grenades Roberto Jefferson threw at the federal police officers who came to arrest him. Even suppressing the laughter that threatened to betray him, Fidel didn't break character and kept the atmosphere of madness at its peak. 

Now all that's left is to arrest Karl Marx.

Estefânio gave hope:

The military is already on his tail. I just received a message in the WhatsApp group. The net is closing in. Jungle!

The hours passed, and that crowd of patriots remained impassive and colossal in their purpose to annul the elections and see the armed forces intervene in the country's government. By this point, Fidel had already distanced himself from Estefânio and approached a couple of patriots dressed in Havan shirts, who were making a Nazi salute while singing the national anthem. That was already too much for him, but it would get worse when they demanded that he also make the gesture.

"Aren't you going to raise your arm in salute to our flag?" the man asked.

I'd like to, but I can't. I just dislocated my shoulder helping to beat up a member of the Workers' Party who had infiltrated our ranks.

The woman's eyes lit up:

Wow! How heroic! Beating up PT supporters is the greatest proof of love a Brazilian can give to their country. Did he die?

Fidel, feeling that he could not disappoint the expectations of that upstanding citizen, replied:

He was taken to the hospital, but I doubt he'll survive.  

- Woohoo! – She exclaimed.

The man immediately offered her a cold beer and wanted to know more about that patriot who had impressed his wife.

What's so funny, young man?

Olavo Carlos

- I know! In honor of our great professor Olavo de Carvalho? 

- That...

The woman gets emotional:

I'm going to cry! I'm sorry, but I'm going to cry! I was a huge fan of Professor Olavo. He saved my life, freeing me from feminism, socialism, and the hell of lesbianism. 

It was already good, but Fidel still wanted to know more details:

- Were you a lesbian, a feminist, and a socialist? 

The husband stepped forward and quickly put an end to the matter:

That's in the past. She was a lesbian because she hadn't yet experienced a man like me. Today she is free from the evil of homosexuality and the demon of socialism. 

The woman adds: 

Today I fight so that women don't stop shaving their armpits, so that our land becomes flat again, and so that our flag is never red. 

And the man concludes:

Brazil above all! God above everyone!

Still reeling from the nonsense he'd just heard, our brave infiltrator was once again surprised by new cries of euphoria and weakness coming from the crowd. A commotion ensued, everyone rushing to their place. It was Cassia Kiss who had just arrived. Dressed as Roberto Jefferson, with an image of Our Lady of Aparecida in one hand and a rifle disguised as an umbrella in the other, she directed those patriots who, increasingly inflamed, screamed and took turns shouting things that, to any normal human being, would seem disconnected. Such as: "Death to abortion!" and "My daughter will not use unisex bathrooms!"

The group accompanying the actress was still displaying banners with slogans such as: “Who killed Odete Roitman?”, “Raquel is good! Rutinha is bad!”, “We are all Sinhozinho Malta” and “Tieta of the backlands – Communist tramp”. For Fidel, that was enough. He already had enough stories to tell at Joca's bar, while enjoying some homemade pork crackling and wetting his whistle with a very cold beer. The dilemma now would be getting back home with the roads blocked by patriotic roadblocks. He crossed paths with Estefânio, who was jumping around and repeating incessantly:

We did it! We did it! We did it!  

Fidel's curiosity led him to want to know the reason for the euphoria:

Who was arrested now?

Lula. It's over! It's over! It's over!

Fidel left there convinced that the only intervention needed in the country was psychiatric, when a truck heading north offered him a ride. 

Where are you going, patriot?

- Méier

Hop in. I'll give you a ride. I'll be passing by Norte Shopping. Is that helpful?

Sure! Thanks!

As Fidel approached the passenger door, he was warned by the driver: 

Not in here! Go to the windshield. I want to see if you're really a patriot.