The surfing of the Supreme Court justices

The press is going crazy. It's revealed the other side. pop The Supreme Federal Court is launching a new minister every day as a candidate for president or vice-president of the Republic. Or they themselves launch their own candidates, obviously. Now it's Ellen Gracie who will be Aécio "Doubt" Neves's running mate, with his 160 vice-presidential options invented by his party or some marketing strategist on duty. Brilliant.

If that's the case, we also want to ride the same wave. crowdTrying to put together suggestions for candidates that seem to have something in common. Old-fashioned with old-fashioned, cool with cool, trendy with trendy. Something like that.

If Joaquim Barbosa runs for president, given his notoriously authoritarian tendencies, who better than Marina to be his vice-president? One will say kill; the other will skin him to the bone. It would be a literally hellish duo.

If Marina were to run for president, given her conservative and ultra-harsh tendencies, she would need Gilmar Mendes as her vice-president. Gilmar, a perennial contender for Big Brother Brazil due to his theatrical talent, would lend an aesthetic theatricality to Marina's angry outbursts and complaints. That's it.

Soninha Francine, the always cool and attractive girl, needs a cool guy by her side. Either Luiz Fux, the eternal young man, or Luís Roberto Barroso, the... hippieSince they can't have two, the best option would be Fux, a guy who's more "in on a roll" like Soninha. The perfect match.

Aécio Neves, a somewhat hybrid figure, needs someone to match him. The press suggested Ellen Gracie, but then the count goes wrong, she's already retired. Who told him to? Rosa Weber would be better, firm and combative, to counterbalance the whining of Tancredo's grandson, all without too much gossip.

Eduardo "Lost" Campos needs to find himself. More than just his beautiful blue eyes. For his vice-president, no one is better than Teori Albino Zavascki, serious and balanced, quick-witted and straightforward.

Levy Fidelix, the candidate supported by the Brazilian Military Party, needs a running mate. and, tooHe's cool, laid-back, and in a good mood. His ideal partner would be Marco Aurélio de Mello, with his unfailing collection of ties and his transgressive ideas to refresh Fidelix. Mello is the ideal man to contain the reactionary outbursts of a conservative president.

There's also Randolfe Rodrigues, that sometimes gentle, sometimes angry figure. And "nobody" is better suited to a young man with his outbursts than the balance and good sense of the handsome dean, Celso de Mello. A fine pairing.

Serra. Well, if José “Simpson” Serra were to run for office – which he certainly wouldn't for lack of persistence – his running mate would be José Dias Toffoli, a figure still free from the vices of the legal world. A young lawyer emerging in this postmodern 21st century to counterbalance Serra's age-old shrewdness.

Roberto Freire swears he won't sue anyone if they put his name forward for president. Got it? Then he needs a vice-president already. Since Lewandowski is reserved and the beautiful Cármen Lucia, with her penetrating eyes, might not accept a former communist—more "former" than communist—the ideal figure is Luís Roberto Barroso. A perfect match.

Cármen Lucia was out of place. But she deserves a presidential candidacy. So, a vice-presidential candidate must be found for her. It's not difficult; the minister is beloved by many. An ideal vice-president would be Eros "Cupid" Grau, that eternally adorable figure, with his new long hair, the eternally beloved professor. But he's already retired and can't be on the list. Therefore, a respectable politician – yes, they exist! – should be chosen as her vice-president. The veteran Pedro Simon, the outlier, the needle in the haystack, the wheat among the chaff. Long live Simon.

Finally, Ricardo Lewandowski, without any allusion to preferences in the judgment of AP 470,monthlyHe has to be Dilma's vice-president. Lewandowski, already. Since her re-election is predicted by statistics so far, the handsome and formerly long-haired Lewandowski would be the most likely candidate.

Here is a modest contribution to the samba of the intellectually challenged black man (a terribly correct way, to cater to the annoying people out there, of saying the beloved "crazy black man's samba") of the political scene for 2014.

But don't be alarmed, since politics is an open game, or rather a crazy one, everyone can jump from branch to branch until the very last minute. The important thing is to be happy.