Politically correct Carnival
In Brazilian Carnival, there's no such thing as masks or costumes: rich is rich, poor is poor, white is white, black is black, and the police know exactly who to beat up.
King Momo, wearing a turban and holding the keys to the city, announces the rules of Carnival to the crowd.
"Carnival has no rules," shouted a white, heterosexual, and libertine male.
"This year it is," corrected the obese, carnival-like voice.
And he immediately announced: "This year, 'your hair doesn't lie, mulatto girl' is forbidden."
"I don't see anything wrong with this song," complained the descendant of slave owners, brushing her hair with her fingers.
"And speaking of hair, look at Zezé's hair, it's out of style too," Momo continued, reading from a list he was carrying in his lap.
"Leftist idiots," shouted the offspring of the dictatorship, a Christian and heterosexual.
"Fat imbecile, trash. Can't we even make fun of gay people during Carnival?", complained the white, muscular man with a bare torso.
"Let's create a barrier with ropes and leave that fatso and those feminists out of it," the young woman declared.
"After all, Carnival is about transgression, anything goes during Carnival!" shouted the muscular man triumphantly.
"Anything goes," said the fake king, "blacks and gays are being mocked all year round. The real transgression, my good lad, would be, at least during Carnival, not to mock them."
Momo adjusts the cardboard crown on his head and continues: "And what's more, this year we won't have ropes or corrals. What kind of carnival is this where the rich play the role of the rich and the poor are always dressed up as the poor?"
The crowd was complaining; cries and gnashing of teeth could be heard from the multitude.
Indifferent, the king of the party continues: "The banana-chewing carnival is over, which, as we know, was chewing gum for the whites and bananas for the blacks."
Next to me, the young woman murmured that Carnival was becoming boring, "it's all about ecological confetti, glitter that's no longer glittery..."
Since I didn't listen to her, she yelled: "Why don't you go lead Carnival in Cuba, you communist whale, you scoundrel?"
And he concluded, murmuring to those around him: "Where has it ever been seen, these insecure people even put clothes on the Globeleza, who this year was even prettier and less black."
"Okay," said the chubby monarch from atop the sound truck, "let's allow the raunchy carnival songs, but let's also allow finger-poking in girls' butts and forced kisses with hair-pulling."
And he continued: "It's also okay for the capoeira and boxing crowd to use the bodies of young, drunk white people as sparring partners. You can beat the kids up, take their iPhones and empty your pockets."
"No, that's not fair!" shouted a woman with silicone implants, which was echoed by the crowd who don't know how to samba.
"Damn it all," said King Momo, "you mean that as the oppressor anything goes at Carnival, but as the oppressed nothing goes?"
Complete silence.
"Just move the damn thing forward and leave it as it is," said the carnival float driver.
And the revelry continued with the same rules as always.
In Brazilian Carnival, there's no such thing as masks or costumes: rich is rich, poor is poor, white is white, black is black, and the police know exactly who to beat up.
There are many rules in Carnival: there are rules in the VIP boxes, on the Sambadrome, in the cordoned-off areas...
She can be naked, but with a modesty patch.
Only black people push parade floats.
The black people hold the ropes, the white people dance.
Black people hold the cooler, white people drink.
Is it a trio elétrico (a type of mobile stage used in Brazilian Carnival)? Put the black guys in the kitchen, playing tambourines.
Microphone in hand, commanding the masses, only white men and women.
Our carnival, with its fantastic costumes and incredible floats, is not transgressive at all; the image is clear:
White on top, black on the bottom.
Wise words.
* This is an opinion article, the responsibility of the author, and does not reflect the opinion of Brasil 247.